That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
