she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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