Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
