I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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