How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
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Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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