U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
