sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
