Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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