At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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