..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
