the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
