It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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