I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
