Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize