I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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