fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
