You're my little dorito
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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