Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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