I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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