I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
