forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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