If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
