sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
