i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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