Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
