I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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