I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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