Plan B is the new Plan A
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
