You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize