Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
