he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
