Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
