Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I came so hard my ears popped.
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