You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
