I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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