Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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