So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
