Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
