are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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