umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize