Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize