I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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