I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
