Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
