In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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