haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
