Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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