I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
