I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
