Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
