i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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