He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
