This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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