i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Too much gin, very little bucket
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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