I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
