I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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