i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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