Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
