I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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