Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
