maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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