you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
