Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
