is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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