No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
