yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
