that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
