Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
